This is Australia
by Leto
Summary: A digital gate opens in Australia, and the digidestined decide this means it's time for a holiday Down Under. ^_^. However, they find some things they didn't expect... (Mild bad language.)


Yes, I am a South Australian (and I love this place ^_^.) so this is based off my own knowledge. Don't worry though, this is not a self-insertion fic. We'll also pretend that there is no problem with a language barrier, 'cos there isn't in the dub... 

I am assuming that when the kids went camping (to beat the Emporer) it was a vacation of some sort. I am going to assume this is summer vacation. If this is wrong (probably is) I really don't care. ^_^. 

And I haven't seen the episodes where the kids go international so nyeah. 

**This is Australia**  
by [Leto][1]

The digidestined were meeting at Izzy's house. His parents were out for the day and school was still out. 

"Hey guys," said Izzy, "so you're ready to go back and help clean up the digital world? I'll join in but first I have a fascinating discovery to..." 

"This isn't going to be another 'fascinating discovery' like that one where you talked about quantum physics for half an hour, is it?" asked Davis warily. 

"It helped me fall right asleep," piped up Poromon. 

"It's nothing like that," said Izzy, "as a matter of fact, a new digital gate has opened up in Australia." 

The children looked at each other in surprise. 

"Australia?" said Kari, "but there aren't any digidestined in Australia, are there?" 

"Yeah, why Australia?" asked Yolei, "it doesn't make any sense!" 

"I don't understand that either," admitted Izzy, "but I have located the television set in the digital world that leads to a gate in Adelaide, South Australia. Come and take a look." 

He led them over to the computer and opened a map of the digital world. He pressed a few keys and a small white square began flashing on the screen. 

"So if we went there and then went back through that gate we'd be somewhere in Australia," said TK, "that's weird." 

"I think it's totally awesome!" said Yolei, "we can visit Australia!" 

"Yeah, it'll be great!" agreed Davis, "I know all about Australia! Gidday maaate, fair dinkum rinky dinky di -" 

"Davis, shut up," said everyone in unison. 

"Davis, if you try to do an Australian accent ever again I'll show you the true meaning of Cat-Fu Fighting," said Gatomon, more eloquently. 

"How about it? We have forever to help clean up the digiworld, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" said Yolei. 

"I don't know, Yolei," warned Izzy, "we have to think seriously about this. The digital gates aren't some kind of toy you can use to skip out on air fares..." 

"Come on Izzy, don't be a spoilsport," pleaded Kari, "think about it, an overseas trip without any jetlag!" 

"It can be our reward for saving the digital world from the Digimon Emporer!" said Cody. 

"Yeah, so what are we waiting for, let's go Down Under!" said Davis impatiently. 

Izzy cracked; really, he wanted to go as much as the others did. "Okay, you've talked me into it. Now let's see, there's three days of vacation left... Matt's dad is the only one of our parents who knows about the digiworld, so we'd better get him to cover for us... at night we can camp out in digiworld, that way we won't have to worry about accommodation... and some of the others might want to come too..." 

*** 

Three hours later, Izzy surveyed his living room and sweatdropped. Crammed into it were Tai, Matt, Sora, Joe, TK, Kari, Davis, Yolei, Cody, even Mimi, and himself. It turned out everyone liked the idea of a free vacation. 

"Well, looks like the whole gang is here," sighed Izzy, "we ought to be a really inconspicuous group this way."

"Not the whole gang," said Davis, looking a little put out, "I rang Ken, but he wouldn't come." 

"You invited Ken?!" said Cody, "are you crazy?" 

"Yeah Davis, we don't want Mr Cute Megalomaniac-Psychopath with us," said Yolei.

Davis frowned. "Well, I just thought he might like to come..." 

"You should have asked the rest of us if we wanted him along first," said TK.

"Well, excuse ME TF but I'm the leader of the digidestined and if I have to consult you for every little decision then -"

"Break it up you two," said Sora wearily, with a sense of deja vu. "Are we ready to go?" 

"I don't know how Mimi expects to be able to move under all those bags she's brought," said Joe, "Mimi, we're only going to be there for three days, do you really need four suitcases?" 

"Oh, it's not going to be a problem," said Mimi brightly, "because you're going to be nice and carry three of them for me, aren't you Joeeee?"

"Not a chance, Mimi," said Joe, equally pleasantly, "you should learn to travel light."

"I only brought necessity items," she argued. 

Sora opened one of the suitcases and started rifling through it. "Dressing gown? Inflatable bath pillow? One, two... six, seven, eight... fourteen types of mascara? You call these necessity items?" 

"What's mascara?" asked DemiVeemon. 

"A horrible torture device that must have been invented by a man," said Sora. 

"Uh... that sounds like something Yolei would say," said Davis. Fortunately, Yolei wasn't listening.

"Well, I might meet a really cute Australian guy, right? I have to be prepared!"

Joe sighed. "She never changes..." 

"Alright, guys," said Yolei, from the computer, "I've zoned in on the gate that will take us to the Australian portal. Ready? Digi-poooort, open!"

*** 

An hour later, the children stood around a television set in the digital world. Having found - and dumped their bags on - their old friend Meramon, they were ready to go. 

"It doesn't look any different than the other digital gates," said Kari doubtfully.

"I wonder where exactly it leads," said Cody. 

"Only one way to know," said Davis, activating his D3. The gate flashed, their digivices flashed, they all disappeared... 

...and reappeared in an unfamiliar room full of computers. 

"Ouch," said Sora, picking herself up from the floor, "that's one thing I hate about interdimensional travel - the rough landings!" 

"It could be worse," croaked Joe, from underneath half a dozen digidestined.

"Where ARE we?" asked Mimi.

"It sure doesn't look familiar to me," said Matt. 

"Are we in Australia?" asked Yolei.

"Just a minute, everyone," said Izzy. He crawled out from beneath Gatomon and Kari, and seated himself in front of the computer they'd come from.

After bringing up a few incomprehensible (to everyone but Izzy) screens, Izzy nodded with satisfaction. 

"I'm not entirely sure why the digital gate led to this exact place, but it seems we're in a school and we're definitely in Adelaide. I guess it must be lunch time; fortunately nobody was here to see our unusual entrance."

"You're right about it being lunch time," said Poromon unhappily, "I'm starving!"

"So am I for that matter," said Izzy, "but we don't have any Australian money..." 

"I thought ahead," said Joe - surprise, surprise - and pulled out a wallet. "I took the liberty of going to the bureau de change before I met you all at Izzy's house. There's not enough to let Mimi go near any malls, but it should cover our meals if we don't overdo it." 

"Wow, great thinking Joe," said Cody. 

"Thanks a lot, Joe!" said Matt. 

"You can all thank me by paying me back when we get home," said Joe. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, if I wanted to see a school, I'd have stayed back home," said Tai impatiently, "let's go outside!" 

At that moment the door of the computer room opened; two teenage girls in school uniform appeared. One was a plump, freckled blonde, the other with Asian features and long peroxide-d hair. They began to walk in but stopped in surprise when they saw the children on the floor. The five Digimon immediately went into cute-stuffed-animal mode. Matt and Tai grinned. Teenage girls - they liked this country already. 

"Hello ladies," said Matt in a suave voice, "it's nice to meet you." 

"What are you doing in here?" asked the Asian girl, still looking a little baffled. 

The second girl didn't say anything; she was looking at Patamon with a strange expression. 

"Well, uhh, we just thought we'd drop in and say hi to you, of course," Matt said, "I'm new in town, how would you like to show me the sights of Adelaide?" 

"I'm not into cradle snatching," said the girl, frowning slightly as though she couldn't believe Matt was serious. "Anyway, we need to use the computers, you kids aren't supposed to be in here. You don't even have visitor's badges." 

"Kids," repeated Matt in disbelief. Izzy snickered. 

"We're sorry," said Mimi, thinking quickly, "we were just doing a little sight-seeing and we thought we'd see what a real Australian school looked like. We didn't know we had to get special permission or anything." 

The girl frowned. "Well, now you know. This isn't a daycare centre and I have a big assignment due next period that I kind of haven't started yet. I don't need you in here distracting me." 

Her friend spoke up for the first time. "Hey Kate, why don't you go to the downstairs computer room and I'll meet you there in a few minutes." 

"Why should *we* leave, Lisa, they're the ones who -" 

"KATE!" 

'Kate' rolled her eyes. "Fine, but if I fail it's all your fault." 

She left the room, shutting the door rather loudly. 'Lisa' looked at the children and sighed. They watched her with a little trepidation as she walked towards them, and then knelt in front of Patamon. 

"Patty cake?" she asked. 

Everyone blinked. Patamon stared at her, confused, but also trying not to move or make a sound. The girl turned to Gatomon. 

"Patty cake?" she asked again. 

Gatomon also stared back blankly. 

"Guess it's not you, huh," the girl said, "man, it's been a while since I saw a Digimon."

"Huh?" said everyone in unison.

"D-Digimon?" squeaked Davis nervously, "what are Digimon? We have no idea what you're talking about!" 

"Oh come on," she said, "I recognise a Patamon and Gatomon when I see them." 

"How?!" demanded Tai. 

Lisa frowned. "Well... let's just put it this way, the digital world and I are enemies from way back!" 

"Enemies?" asked Kari, "what do you mean? Have you been to digiworld?" 

"Yes," said Lisa, still scowling, "and I'd just as soon forget it. Did you lot come through the computer?" 

"Yes," said Joe, "we found a digital gate in digiworld that opened in Australia and we thought it might be nice to take a vacation." 

"We didn't know it would lead us right here," added Cody. 

"Huh," said Lisa, "So you're... digidestined?" 

"That's right," said TK, "the five of us - Kari, Cody, Yolei, Davis and me, TK - are the current digidestined, but the others were the original ones." 

"Nope," said Lisa, "WE were the original ones." 

"Just what do you mean by all that?" asked Yolei. 

"There were five of us," said Lisa, "we went to digiworld while you 'current digidestined' were still wearing nappies!" 

"What're nappies?" asked Davis. 

"Actually, it woulda been about eight years now," said Lisa, ignoring him (she learns fast!), "yeah, eight years. We got dragged in to fight some stupid evil thing that came out from behind the firewall." 

"Of course!" exclaimed Izzy, "don't you remember, guys? Gennai told us there were digidestined before us who saved the digital world before we did!" 

"Wow, you're a real hero then," said Sora, "it must have been a tough battle." 

"You're not kidding," said Lisa, "just wait 'til you guys encounter Apocalymon, I bet you won't be so casual and all 'let's go on a holiday to Australia' after he's through with you!" 

"Oh, we defeated Apocalymon four years ago," said Joe. 

"That's right," said Gatomon, "we all digivolved to Ultimate and kicked that guy's tail!"

"He didn't have a tail," said Patamon. 

Lisa stared. "Digivolved to Ultimate? You mean you kids managed to BEAT Apocalymon?"

"Sure, but then, so did you," said Matt. 

"No we didn't. We lost that battle and got kicked out of digiworld." 

"Huh? What are you saying?" asked Tai. 

"I'm saying we DIDN'T save digiworld, and I don't know what you're talking about. Apocalymon was unbeatable!" 

"You lost?" asked Mimi, "oh how terrible! But... you're alright now, right?" 

"But Gennai told us..." began Izzy.

"Gennai! Don't get me started on that creep! He'd say anything to trick you!" 

"I don't think Gennai's like that," said Izzy. 

"Well, no offense kid but you're an overtrusting simpleton." 

Tai made a peculiar choking sound at the thought of anyone calling Izzy a simpleton. 

"Well," said Matt, "I know that after I heard some kids had managed to beat Apocalymon before, it made me even more determined to beat him too. I figured if they could do it, we shouldn't give up 'cos there had to be a way for us to do it too." 

"That must have been why he said it," said Sora. 

"Or else he didn't want to face the truth," said Lisa. 

At that moment, the computer room door opened again and three younger teenage girls were standing there. They all stared. 

"Who are all these weird-looking people?" asked one of them. 

"Who's weird looking," muttered Matt. 

"You lot, piss off," said Lisa. 

"Huh? Hey, this computer room's open to -" 

"I said piss off, you wouldn't want me to have to tell you again, would you?" Lisa began to advance toward them and they left quickly. 

"Quite a forceful personality," muttered Izzy. 

"Scary," whispered Davis. 

"I think she's cool!" said Yolei. 

"You would..." 

"Anyway," said Lisa, "you lot had better get out of here too, lunch is nearly over. Fangie's gonna freak if she sees you." 

"Fangie?" 

"Vice principal. She'd hyperventilate if she saw you lot in here without visitor's badges." 

"Her name's not really 'Fangie', is it?" 

"Are you even listening to me? I said piss off!" 

"But what do we -" 

"How do we -" 

"Can you tell us -" 

"What about -" 

"Why do you -" 

"Look," snapped Lisa, interrupting them, "I'd love to stay and dredge up sh*tty memories with you but... well, I wouldn't. If you really wanna know more go bug Queen Jacqui." 

"Who's that?" 

"She was one of the other digidestined. She's such a prima donna I'm sure she'll tell you all about everything. She just loves the sound of her own voice." 

"I take it there's no love lost between you two," said Tai, ever observant. 

Lisa snorted. 

"Well, where can we find Jacqui?" 

"I saw her last Saturday making a spectacle of herself on Rundle Mall. She'd probably be there. Don't go see her unless you wanna hear her bitching all the time." 

"Ooh, a mall?" asked Mimi, perking up. 

"Don't even think about it..." muttered Joe. 

"So just where is Rundle Mall?" asked Tai. 

"And how does the transport system in Adelaide operate?" asked Izzy. 

"And where can we get something to eat?" asked DemiVeemon. 

"I'm not a tour guide, I'm just a year 12 student with a friend who's probably getting really pissy at me right now, 'cos I was supposed to help her with this assignment. So go find out yourselves. Nice meeting you or something." 

With that, she left. Everyone looked at each other. 

"Nice girl," said TK. 

"I wonder if all Australian girls act like that?" said Matt. 

"Do you think she was telling the truth?" asked Sora. 

"Well, she knew about the Digimon..." said Tai. 

"What does 'sh*tty' mean?" asked Cody suddenly. 

"Huh?" said Davis. 

"Well, she said she had 'sh*tty memories' of digiworld..." 

Joe sweatdropped. "I think you can find out the meaning of that word when you're a little older." 

"Sometimes I wonder if Cody's on this planet at all," said Davis. 

"Come on, let's leave this place," said Yolei, "we get enough school back home." 

*** 

Outside, the weather was dismal. The sky was completely white, there was a light drizzle in the air, and most of the digidestined were still wearing their summer clothes. They walked along the street outside the school, rubbing their arms. 

"It's FREEZING out here," complained Yolei. 

"Yes, Yolei, we know," muttered Matt, "you've only told us twelve times." 

"But I thought Australia was supposed to be all sunshine and tropical beaches and stuff!" 

"Well, obviously it isn't here," said Izzy, "it is winter at the moment, Yolei." 

"Hey, does anyone know where we're going?" asked Tai suddenly. 

"We should go to Rundle Mall," said Cody, "I can't wait to find out more about the original digidestined." 

"Wasn't her story strange?" said Sora.

"It sounded sad," said Kari, "I wonder what happened?" 

"Well, Lisa said we could find her on a Saturday, and it's only Friday," said Joe reasonably.

"So let's go sight-seeing!" said Davis eagerly. Then he paused. "Uh... do any of you guys know what sights there are to see here?" 

One by one, everyone shook their heads.

"Oh well, let's ask someone," said Davis, and ran up to a stranger. "Hey, gidday mate!"

The stranger blinked and moved as if to walk on.

"Hey how'sitgoin' mate, couldja tell me - uh... couldja... hey!"

Davis walked back to the others, scowling. "This country is full of jerks, how could he ignore me like that?" 

"He probably thought you were making fun of him," said Yolei. 

"The accent really is too much," said Mimi, "here, let me show you how it's done."

She glanced around until she saw a couple of guys in their late teens, leaning against a wall. She walked up to them and smiled cutely, fluffing her hair. 

"Hey guyyys," she said, "I'm on vacation in this great country and I was wondering if you could possibly tell me what some of the tourist highlights are here!" 

One of them squinted up at her face and drawled, "Tourist highlights? In Adelaide? You gotta be kidding. This place is a hole." 

The other was looking at her legs. "Wanna get some?" 

Mimi made a face and screeched "no THANKS, you DISGUSTING PERVERT, for your information I'm not in the habit of going out with strange men and if you can't offer a simple answer to my question then you're a total CREEP!" 

The guy frowned slightly. "So why'd you come up to us all flirty and wearing a mini in this weather?" 

Mimi hit him over the head and stomped away. 

"So that's how it's done?" asked Davis. Mimi hit him too. 

"Chill out, Mimi," said Matt. Mimi hit him too. Everyone else inched away from her. 

"I'm bored and I'm cold," she complained, "and tired, I was just about to go to bed in America. Whose stupid idea was this in the first place?" 

"Let's just keep moving," said Sora, "it's too cold otherwise." 

"I know *someone* will tell us where we can go," said Yolei, "I'll ask these girls." 

She moved away from the group a little to meet three teenage girls. 

"Hi!" she said brightly, "how's it going?" 

"Umm... alright," said one of them. 

"I'm here from Japan," continued Yolei, "my friends and I were wondering what places are worth seeing in Adelaide." 

"If you're tourists, you're in the wrong place," said one girl, "there's nothing to do in Adelaide." 

"Do all Japanese girls dress like that?" asked another girl, looking over Yolei's outfit critically. 

"And aren't you a little old to be playing with toys?" asked the third girl, poking Poromon. Yolei tightened her grip on her Digimon to stop him from pecking or flapping his wings in protest. 

"I HAAAAAATE this country!" shrieked Yolei, "is EVERYONE in it a TOTAL JERK or WHAT?!" 

"Woah, keep walking," hissed one of the girls, and the three of them moved on quickly, taking furtive, nervous glances back at the red-faced Yolei. 

Joe sighed. "Why, oh why, can't my friends be normal." 

"Hey Joe, you're our number one freak," said Tai cheerfully, "come on, let's go find some place to eat." 

"Sounds good to me!" said Poromon. 

"Me too, me too, me too!" said Upamon. 

"A little more quietly," hissed Cody, "you don't want people to hear you!" 

"Fortunately it doesn't seem like a very crowded place," said Izzy. 

"Freak," muttered Joe, "freak?!" 

"Come on come on," said Yolei impatiently, "enough talking and more eating!" 

"I just can't wait to find out what the local cuisine is like!" said Mimi eagerly, "I've never been to Australia before! I bet there must be all sorts of great restaurants and cafes! This is gonna be great!" 

*** 

Mimi stared flatly at the tray in front of her. 

"This is not the broadening experience I was hoping for," she said. 

"Eat your Big Mac and quit complaining," said Tai. 

"It's not very healthy," said Cody, pulling out his pickles and giving them to Upamon. 

"Hey, McDonalds may not be the Grand, but at least it's cheap," said Joe. 

"I fink thish was a gweat choish," said Davis, with his mouth full. He was trying to eat two hamburgers at once, while talking, with disastrous consequences. 

"Davis, you're disgusting," said Yolei, "can't you eat like a civilised human being?" 

Davis snorted, and milkshake came out of his nose. Everyone screeched and moved as far away from him as they could get in the crowded booth. 

"Davis, really!" said Kari. 

"Sorry Kari," he said, swallowing his mouthful, "I guess I'm just a little hungry." 

"We're all a little hungry but you don't see the rest of us spraying food all over the table," said TK. 

"It's very unhygenic," added Joe, unnecessarily. 

"Izzy, what are you looking at?" asked Cody. Izzy didn't answer; he was looking over a sheet of paper with great interest and absent-mindedly stuffing chips into his mouth. Half the time he missed his mouth but he didn't seem to notice. 

"Izzy," said Matt, "this is Matt, calling Izzy! Do you read me?" 

"Mmrhh," mumbled Izzy absently. 

"Hey Izzy, get with the program or I'll throw this hamburger bun at your face!" tried Davis. Izzy didn't even look up. 

"IZZY!" shouted Mimi. Mimi's sharp voice could get through to even Izzy-in-a-state-of-study, and Izzy looked up, surprised. 

"Yes?" he said pleasantly, "did you want to ask me something?" 

Everyone sighed. 

"What are you looking at there?" asked Joe. 

"Oh, this? This is just a brochure I picked up by the counter there. I was just looking at some of the things we could do while we're here." 

"Really? Let me see!" said Davis, and grabbed the brochure away. He started reading it, with TK, Yolei, Tai and Sora all trying to read over his shoulder. 

"Um, guys, you know there are other brochures if you'd take the trouble to walk five metres to the counter," said Izzy, to no avail. 

"Museums? Art? Festival theatre?" read Davis, "c'mon, where are the amusement parks?" 

A McDonalds employee, walking past their table armed with detergent and a cloth, paused. "Are you guys tourists?" 

"Yup," said Davis, "are there any amusement parks around here?" 

"Well," she replied, "the closest thing we have to an amusement park is Magic Mountain." 

"Alright!" shouted Mimi, "they have a Magic Mountain in Australia? This is gonna be awesome, I love that place!" 

The McDonalds girl's mouth twitched. "It's in Glenelg, by the beach. The beach isn't that nice at this time of year but if you're looking for somewhere to go you're not gonna find a lot of better places in Adelaide. There's also Jetty Road, people like to hang out there and shop and stuff." 

"Shopping?" said Mimi, "this is sounding better and better!" 

Joe sighed. 

"How would we get to Glenelg from here?" asked Sora. 

"Ummm... I guess, the tram's the closest. It's less than a kilometre down the road, you can catch one that goes right down Jetty Road." 

"Great, thanks a lot," said Matt, "and by the way, are you single?" 

The girl stared. "Um. No. I'll... um... I have to go clean that table now. Nice talking to you all! Have fun in Australia!" 

She rushed off to the furthest table from them, and started scrubbing at it, although it didn't seem to be dirty at all. Matt hit the table in frustration. 

"Man! What's with the girls here?" 

Izzy and Tai grinned. "Ahh, poor Matt," said Tai, "he's lost his touch." 

"I have not!" 

"Hey Matt," said Davis suddenly, "are you cheatin' on my sister?" 

Matt stared. "What are you talking about, Davis? I'm not dating your sister." 

"Sure you are, she talks about you all the time," protested Davis, "she said your love is the only thing that keeps her going and there are pieces of paper all around the house with 'June Ishida' scrawled on 'em."

Matt groaned. "Davis, I don't mean to insult your sister, but -" 

"No no, that's okay," said Davis, sitting up eagerly, "insult away, I'd love to hear it!"

Everyone sweatdropped. 

"I'm just not interested in her," finished Matt lamely.

"I knew it!" crowed Davis, "how could anyone be interested in that crow? I told her that and you know what, she wasn't even grateful for the information, she just told me if I didn't get out her bedroom she was gonna throw me out the window, now how's that for a girl to treat her only brother, huh?" 

A rather blank pause.

"Let's go and catch the tram now," said Joe. 

***

An hour after that, they disembarked from the train and stared around. They were at the end of a road lined with stores. A monument stood nearby, and beyond that, an esplanade and the beach. The sky was still white, and the ocean's water dark and choppy. A few people walked under the shelter of the store verandahs, occasionally breaking out from under cover to run across the road. 

"There aren't many people, considering it's supposed to be the popular place to hang out," said Sora, "are you sure we're in the right place?" 

"Adelaide's not a very crowded city in general," said Joe. 

"It's a school day and it's raining," said Matt, "what did you expect?" 

It wasn't raining hard, just a dreary kind of steady drizzle. It was less than encouraging. 

"Brrr," said Mimi, hugging her arms, "let's go find Magic Mountain. I hope they have some good roller coasters!" 

"Yeah, since it's such a miserable day there shouldn't be a lot of people there so I bet we won't even have to wait in line too long!" said Yolei. 

"That's if it's even open," muttered Joe. He took off his glasses to wipe them. 

"Don't be such a downer, Joe," said Sora, Tai and Matt in well-practiced unison. 

It did not take long for them to locate Magic Mountain. They stood looking up at it in dismay. 

"That is NOT Magic Mountain," said Mimi. 

"It sure doesn't look very magical," said Yolei, "it looks like a big, ugly plastic rock." 

"With waterslides embedded in it," added TK. 

Everyone hung their heads and sighed.

   [1]: mailto:leto@nysa.cx



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